New Moon; Transformations

 I was in love,

infatuated and happy.

Then anticipation, discovery and excitement

 gave way to obsession,

desperation and heartbreak.

But after the fear and the fever passes…

what I am left with

is a different kind of happiness;

love, understanding and connection.

The Dance

The enigma I wrestle

Every moment I breathe

Does this war I wage

Resemble an idea

You’ve ever had of me

Or am I a fool, obsessed

Consumed by distraction?

Odyssey

On a bright sunny afternoon at the river

four anonymous comrades join together in love and affirmation

remembering others far away

 making a daring odyssey

into the sunlight and the shadows of the trees

following paths that lead to the fairy kingdom

of spiral flight among vines whose connection is skyward

never touching the reality of earth.

A black and white spotted infant touched for an instant

opens the portal into the realm

where small purple stars have spiral green tails

and earth-brown children hang from thin branches

plucking purple berries and tasting their sweet nectar for a moment

only to grasp the next immediately.

The legend of an Indian Brave who lived centuries ago

awakens the sleeping children

and they venture forth to conquer the rushing water

defying the treacherous rocks

and the laws of gravity and distance, space and time

which hold no rule in this universe

of wet feet and sun-shined faces.

Once the barrier has been crossed

the children sleep once again.

Twin Gods

Golden sun-prophet, strong soul-pilot,

as an Eagle flies,

through valleys

following rivers to ocean

and with his hands warms hearts.

 Angel with dark curls

as from night sky,

shines like stars.

Phoenix-spirit, owl-poet

follows mountain streams

through forest

and with his voice

Illuminates minds.

Metamorphosis

The dark airfield stretches out silent and solitary before us,

run-way lights flash from blue to white to blue…

I breathe in the smoke…

my mind fades from grey physics into a purple fog

and I am transformed.

In the silver light of a waning crescent,

the metamorphosis is complete…

at the slow touch of cool fingers

a low purr escapes me

I am a cat, curled and cuddled

in the lap of a man

with strong and gentle hands.

Sleeping Babes

on a saturday in april in half-light

a motel room in the afternoon with the curtains drawn

my friends sleep

in sheer exhaustion

the sleep of wine

and the extremities of lives lived too brightly.

I read poetry

and paint my nails red

drink cold coffee

smoke too many cigarettes

paint my toe-nails too

and go back to playing solitare.

I watch their silent forms

and fight the urge to touch them

“for fear of waking them “ I tell myself.

Two children in their beds at night

when mother opens the door

to see the faces of her babes once more

before retiring to her own sleep.

Insomnia with a Friend

Love songs then love-gone-wrong songs then road songs and wine,

laughter and candlelight, poetry and chess,

bad jokes then black-jack, more wine then sleep.

We have said nothing,

I dream of waking

and wake and cannot sleep.

Desdemona Innocence

Golden, glowing, flicker, dance

sing in light and

make music of flame.

Desdemona innocence,

passionate love,

loyal and pure

and purging pain.

Our souls’ moths flutter

drawn to the warmth

of Fire-Life,

Truth’s power and perfume

and sweet souls’

Honest Ecstasy.

Bitterness

Biting pain

In the place just above the heart

Touching the mind

Transforming

Everything from life to festering disease

Rancid wounds that

Never heal

Even when the

Soul becomes

Sick unto death

Cobwebs laced with light

Cobwebs laced with light

Lightning painting pictures of

Spiders in the sky

Hyde

Deep inside at the bitter core exists a deformed creature,

stunted in youth,

who retreated and disfigured

and refused to grow,

the summer of my ninth year.

Hyding among shadows of fear

like a wild animal,

not truly human,

or perhaps more human than I am now,

She sleeps.

Then escapes and retreats before she’s caught,

lashing out to destroy anyone in sight,

when backed into a corner,

or trapped by too much light.

Gift-wrapping

I put my hand into a gift-wrapped box full of razorblades

and bled all over my jeans, and the pretty wrapping paper.

The cuts healed into scars,

but every time I touch gift-wrapping they bleed,

making a mess on the floor.

Pain in Haiku

Pain as dark as night,

cutting deep into your soul,

as the dawn breaks through.

Dark Star

When you are not present, I feel your absence, like a sailor on the dark ocean without a star by which to set his course.

When we are in a crowded room, I know where you are and how far away, a reference point by which to navigate through the night.

When you are close, I feel the pull your body exerts upon mine, the gravity of your Dark Sun, that makes me desire to remain close in orbit, revolving around you, close to your power.

I drink it in through every pore, intoxicated with pleasure and warmth.

The memory of you warms me still, melting away any desire for control, for safety, melting away fear and caution. 

I would sail over the edge to the place where dragons are.

Desire for your strength, for the intoxication of your power, becomes stronger than any need I have to be safe.

The gravity of your Dark Star holds me in its grasp. 

I am lost in its power, and there I find my own.