My Beloved...

My beloved is the bedrock beneath my feet,

Solid and steadfast, he makes my steps secure

that I may walk my path with surety

My beloved is the mighty oak,

that I may lean upon and rest when I am weak or weary. a stalwart support 

that I may stand in strength

My beloved is the bright star in the dark sky

when I wander in the night his light guides me

 that I may find my way

My beloved is the glowing coals of the hearth

And the need-fire in the winter’s night

And the torch that lights the hall

That I may know warmth and safety

And when I wake before the dawn

in that space before waking, before daylight

my beloved’s voice in my mind,

the memory of his scent

the thought of his touch.

 my passion for him makes me glow

with desire and will

and fills me with purpose

that I might rise and face the world with power... 

I place my hands upon your skin...

I place my hands upon your skin,

And I feel the life in you,

Bright shining

Like the Sun on a summer morning.

It warms my skin in turn,

It seeps into my blood,

Pleasure coursing through my veins,

Liquid light,

Flowing through my body,

And into my bones,

Filling my belly and my brain,

Sinking deep into my soul,

 Seeking depths unknown,

Slipping between and

Beneath the shadows,

Burning darkness into ash,

With light so bright it hurts,

Like blood rushing into flesh long numb,

Fire burning into a heart long cold,

I place my hands upon your skin,

And I feel the light in you…

the Coming of Winter...

Winter is coming

and you will be quitting me soon...

I know this fact

every moment of every day...

Each day the beast draws closer

with each breath, with each beat

with the fall of each night

the day becomes shorter

the darkness grows and

the silence creeps closer...

It stalks me

watching and waiting for the moment

that moment when you will touch me for the last time...

The cold silence waits for me

it waits until you are gone

it waits for that moment

to wrap its cold, dark silence around me

to hold me untouched, cold and silent

all through the long dark months...

I can feel it closing in on me

and I want to scream...

No you cannot take me!

I am Warm and Alive!

I hold Fire inside me!

But no matter how I rage against it

no matter how hard I beat my fists against the tomb

no matter...

I cannot escape 

the coming of Winter.

Falling into the fire...

I had a dream…

You were there, offering me all that I had once desired…

Offering me the chance to fall …

back into all the old patterns and habits of my past.

Offering me the opportunity to return to the veil,

that hides me from myself and from the light.

I woke knowing that I could not have you,

or risk returning to the shadows.

I told myself   “Do not fall in love with him.

He is too strong for you.

You will lose yourself again.

Do not fall in love with him.”

But it was already far too late…

I fell, Oh how I fell…

And I am falling still…

It matters not that you are not in love with me…

or that you cannot be.

It makes no difference that I am strong enough without you,

Or with you, or that I am not with you.

or that you wear the face of God, or that He wears yours.

I no longer know which, and it no longer matters.

For I am strong enough to love a God…

and to stand in the light.

I no longer need to hide behind the veil…

I can stand and fall and fall and fall…

And still I stand…

I stand in the light no matter how I fall…

The falling is no longer to be feared…

The fire inside your mind, your heart, your soul…

Sparks the flame within my own

Your body sets my own on fire

And so I fall …

into the magick of falling

in love with you…

and I stand in the light of the fire...

even as I fall…

I lay upon my bed...

I lay upon my bed,

The light turned out an hour ago,

The embers shimmer and glow inside,

The waves rolling off my skin,

Light the shadows all around.

I think of you and in my mind,

I hold your body close.

Although my heart would be for you,

A place of love and healing,

My mind tells me that what you need,

Is not what I can offer.

I focus on your pain,

On my desire to transform

That sharp thing,

Into something else.

As intense and overwhelming,

And consuming as my need.

My body and my soul want you still,

Even in your darkest hour.

To feel your force,

Your frustration and your anger,

Your loss and grief and despair,

Pouring into me,

Purged and purified.

To be battered in your arms,

To feel your violence and your hope,

To feel your control,

And your abandonment of it.

To feel your hands around my throat,

Pressed against the wall,

With no escape,

No choice,

But to surrender to your will,

And be conquered by your power.

For the Wild God

Cernunnos

Untamable Wild Spirit

Undeniable Force of Life

God of Carnal Pleasure and Passionate Joy,

Laughter and Love.

Come to me and Take me.

In that place of ecstasy

Where there are no boundaries to separate me

From all that you are.

Candlemas

Light the Candles one by one

Cold the Earth, but warm the Sun

Seeds beneath the surface swelling

With the snow-melt, daylight growing

Cold the winds but warm the Sun

Light the Candles one by one

In my heart the fire’s glowing

Winter into Spring is going

Warm the Earth, and warm the Sun

Light the Candles one by one

Desdemona Innocence

Golden, glowing, flicker, dance

sing in light and

make music of flame.

Desdemona innocence,

passionate love,

loyal and pure

and purging pain.

Our souls’ moths flutter

drawn to the warmth

of Fire-Life,

Truth’s power and perfume

and sweet souls’

Honest Ecstasy.

Dark Star

When you are not present, I feel your absence, like a sailor on the dark ocean without a star by which to set his course.

When we are in a crowded room, I know where you are and how far away, a reference point by which to navigate through the night.

When you are close, I feel the pull your body exerts upon mine, the gravity of your Dark Sun, that makes me desire to remain close in orbit, revolving around you, close to your power.

I drink it in through every pore, intoxicated with pleasure and warmth.

The memory of you warms me still, melting away any desire for control, for safety, melting away fear and caution. 

I would sail over the edge to the place where dragons are.

Desire for your strength, for the intoxication of your power, becomes stronger than any need I have to be safe.

The gravity of your Dark Star holds me in its grasp. 

I am lost in its power, and there I find my own.

Yule

From the Darkness of the Void,

deep and silent,

on the longest of nights,

stars sparkle in the sky above;

reflecting sparks rising from the fires of Hope.

And in the East,

the horizon shimmers

with the coming Dawn.

Burning

My dreams burn;

the inner-most places of my body and soul,

guarded for light years

by ice-walls,

from anyone’s touch,

burn with memories.

My blood burns,

with the heat of the bed,

now cold,

my skin with blisters and scars,

my tongue with the taste of salt.

My mind burns,

with his voice and the music,

with the scent of spice and sweat and smoke,

with pictures of him in that bed with another.

My heart burns itself to ashes,

with the pain of cold empty space,

and the coals of the flames it once felt.

The Flame Within

I walked tonight, just the short distance between two places, neither one of much importance.

I could have been on the moor, or in Pennsylvania wandering a cornfield, post-harvest.

This isn’t Kansas - This isn’t Oz.

Through a crack in the sky shone the clear, dark, icy night of space.

The total absence of warmth - The total absence of light from without.

The wind unrelenting on my face.

No warm soft kisses, no strong arms, no hearth and home with love and comfort.

Alone outside on a night like this will doubtless bring tears to the eyes.

Blame them on the cold of the night.

Survive on the flame within.